Its been a tough day.

Some physical symptoms I struggle with include shaking, sweating, fast heart beat & I often find myself rocking when I am stressed. I had the delight of experiencing all of these a little earlier today while trying to sort out some online things and during some phone calls. Phone calls are my idea of hell. In this particular call, I had to get the lady to repeat what she was saying 4 or 5 times because I couldn't hear her, while I got increasingly more anxious. I just said yes in the end, although I am not sure what I said yes to.

I started taking Sertraline a few days ago (an antidepressant) and tomorrow is when I double the dose. I've heard such negative things about medication for mental health related conditions. I know that for many people, it really helps get lives back on track in the long run. This is amazing. But I have also heard many things about what some call the 'settling in period.' I am lucky to so far not have experienced any symptoms but who knows what will happen from tomorrow. It is something I have always been very wary of, but I have got to a point in my life where I am willing to try anything to feel a little happier for longer periods of time. I'm not saying that I'm not happy, sometimes I am. But lately, the majority of the time I just feel hopeless, worthless, sad. If anyone has taken medication in the past for this, please let me know how it has affected you.

I have plans tomorrow to spend the entire day with friends, away from my home town. To say I'm nervous is an understatement. Terrified is more realistic. But I will try my best, as I always do. I'm hoping it will go ok. To meet people even in my own home is a huge struggle for me so an entire day away from the comfort of my bed...it'll be hard. I am looking forward to it though and hopefully it'll be a good day.

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