Doctors

I did it!

I went to my Doctors Appointment and walked all the way up through town at 9am after 4 hours of sleep and I did it. I am very proud. I've been seeing the same Doctor every time because I feel comfortable with her now and I won't see anybody else. It was to review the Sertraline that I'm taking but apparently it hasn't been long enough so I'm back there again in 3 weeks. I still haven't experienced any side effects which completely astonishes me. Did I mention I did it?

The reason I have a phobia of Doctors is because my Mum passed away when I was 9 years old. She was in hospital for a number of weeks before she passed and she looked worse and worse everytime I went to see her. So now I'm terrified. I just associate it in my mind with my Mother and its petrifying. Its not anything in particular like needles. Its all of it. The smell, the look of it, the tests, everything.

No game night tonight in the end as the friend cancelled. I was looking forward to it but we have rescheduled for later on in the week. My partner is struggling a little these days but I won't talk about it here as that's his own business, but I'm hoping we will do some fun things soon. I would love to get out there more, especially with him. I'm trying to keep hope that with the 3-6 apts currently a week we will get there and have our life back.

No plans for tomorrow except for coursework. I only have a few days left to complete the first assessment and send it off and I have done none of it for weeks. I have to pay a lot of money if I don't get it done so I really better get on it.

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