So, Hi.
I'm Mon and I have mental health issues.
I don't like the word 'issues'. I don't like seeing my struggles as a problem. It is something that has a large impact on me every single day, but it is something that can be improved. And it will be. My mental health is a part of me but it doesn't define me. I struggle on a daily basis because all people seem to want to talk about is how I am. "How are you today?" To many people that may come across as a simple "How are you?" But to me, there's a depth behind that question. It makes me uncomfortable when people ask. In my head, what they are really asking is "Have you managed a day without bursting into tears? Have you left the house? Have you showered?" That's what I hear when I'm asked that question. Most of the time at the moment, the answer is no. But I say I'm fine.
Youtube helps me. I watch family vlogs of great people having great times. Its very rare that I get the opportunity to do something amazing and when I do, often anxiety gets in the way. So watching these videos helps me as I empathise with them, I put myself into their shoes. It is me on that boat in the middle of the ocean in Hawaii. Its me having the confidence to slip into a pretty bikini and leap from a rope swing into a lake. I'm drinking that cocktail on the beach and it tastes fucking great. I wish.
I don't believe that I am a good writer. That's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing it because its therapeutic for me. I don't know how much I will share about myself or even if I will write another blog after this one. But I do know that I want to try. I want to get better and this is something that I haven't tried yet, so I'm going to. I also want to help others while I'm going through this 'journey'. Maybe one person will read this blog. Possibly today, or tomorrow. Maybe nobody ever will. But if I make one person smile, dream or feel like they aren't alone, then this is worth it.
To anybody out there that is struggling, whether with your mental health, physical health or anything at all - there is always someone who cares. Stay strong, keep going and NEVER give up. You are worth it.
I'm Mon and I have mental health issues.
I don't like the word 'issues'. I don't like seeing my struggles as a problem. It is something that has a large impact on me every single day, but it is something that can be improved. And it will be. My mental health is a part of me but it doesn't define me. I struggle on a daily basis because all people seem to want to talk about is how I am. "How are you today?" To many people that may come across as a simple "How are you?" But to me, there's a depth behind that question. It makes me uncomfortable when people ask. In my head, what they are really asking is "Have you managed a day without bursting into tears? Have you left the house? Have you showered?" That's what I hear when I'm asked that question. Most of the time at the moment, the answer is no. But I say I'm fine.
Youtube helps me. I watch family vlogs of great people having great times. Its very rare that I get the opportunity to do something amazing and when I do, often anxiety gets in the way. So watching these videos helps me as I empathise with them, I put myself into their shoes. It is me on that boat in the middle of the ocean in Hawaii. Its me having the confidence to slip into a pretty bikini and leap from a rope swing into a lake. I'm drinking that cocktail on the beach and it tastes fucking great. I wish.
I don't believe that I am a good writer. That's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing it because its therapeutic for me. I don't know how much I will share about myself or even if I will write another blog after this one. But I do know that I want to try. I want to get better and this is something that I haven't tried yet, so I'm going to. I also want to help others while I'm going through this 'journey'. Maybe one person will read this blog. Possibly today, or tomorrow. Maybe nobody ever will. But if I make one person smile, dream or feel like they aren't alone, then this is worth it.
To anybody out there that is struggling, whether with your mental health, physical health or anything at all - there is always someone who cares. Stay strong, keep going and NEVER give up. You are worth it.
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