Yes!
Ok, so I have not written for a few days because things have been very busy but so good. I feel like I'm living every single day and I don't feel like I've put this much effort into anything my entire life. I am still getting up at 6-630am every day and I've got a little morning routine put together; I get up, go downstairs, do one load of washing, put the dishes away, take the recycling out as well as any bins that need to go, make breakfast and then clean my teeth. All of that is in the bag by 730am and it just feels amazing. I am doing at least one other productive thing throughout the day as well and trying to make plans and see more people. I want a better social life so that's what I'm aiming for. I'm eating small amounts every 3 hours, cleaning my teeth twice a day and drinking a lot of water throughout the day too. There are definitely still things to work on such as showering, I haven't got the hang of that yet but I'm really progressing and it feels incredible.
So this is going to be a bit of a long blog as I've done a fair bit the last 2 days. On Friday, my partner had his appointment with the job centre, took up my fit note and that was all fine and then in the evening, my cousin came over. I wrote about her in another blog saying how happy I was that we were back in contact again and she came over and I made us a cottage pie. I can't tell you how amazing it was to see her again. I hadn't seen her for 2 years. The last time we were together was at a local festival where I'm going to be honest here, I pooed myself in her tent from anxiety (and possible hypothermia). I said I'd be honest about my mental health in these blogs so I'm going to be. Its fair to say even though it is the most incredible place on earth to me, I haven't been back to that festival yet. Although, I am determined. Anyway that didn't happen this time and we had a wonderful catch up and she's having a really rough time right now so I've made sure she knows that I'm there for her every step of the way. She is the only member of my family on my mums side that I still have contact with and she is very important to me. During the day before she got here, I found a ton of family photos and spent literally hours going through them all. I put them into 5 plastic wallets - Ones I'm keeping, Ones for her, Ones for her dad, Ones for my other uncle and Ones that I have no idea who they are and unfortunately they don't mean anything to me. After a catch up, we spent the rest of the evening going through them all and seeing the look on her face was magical. I knew they meant as much to her as they did to me. Before she went, she told me that sometime next week she would pick me up and take me to see my uncle. I haven't seen him since my mum died when I was 9 years old. Its been 14 years. To say I'm excited is an understatement and she took all the photos on except for the ones for him because she said I should be the one to give it to him. I don't think I've ever looked forward to anything more in my life so I can't wait until I hear from her again.
Yesterday I tackled some more of the bedroom. I really am making it my mission at the moment to get it sorted and really go through some stuff. I have found more things to sell and donate to charity shops and cleaned out another area of the bedroom. In the process, I found a book called the Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook. My partner has been telling me for a long time that he thinks it would benefit me to go through it but back then, I had no motivation so I just nodded and forgot about it. But now, self help books are a dream for me. I find that writing, journalling, doing little exercises and activities really helps me and this book is a proper one. So, I thought I'd give it a try. What I thought I would do is complete a couple pages. I did 40 pages over a few hours, doing all of the exercises and really putting me all into the book. It was incredible. I would recommend that book to anyone struggling with their mental health and the book is based around overwhelming emotions and how to deal with them. It is truly fantastic and I cannot wait to complete some more of it today.
Also yesterday, my partner got an email from the person he had the informal interview with a few days ago saying that he had progressed in his application. He was sent a test that he had to complete and send back to them and although he had a week or two to do it, it took him a couple of days. He tried so hard and put a ton of work into it so I'm very proud of him.
And finally, I managed to reach out to a load of cousins on my dads side of the family so that I could get addresses and information I need for the housing application. We did start the application a while back but we weren't aware that we had to finish it within 10 days of starting else we would have to start again. We had a lot going on and didn't do that so we will hopefully be starting over again now that everyone has gotten back to me. We have a pretty broad area of places which is good and I'm feeling positive.
Today, as I said we will hopefully be getting that application done, I will be completing some more of that workbook and my partners mum will be talking to her friend about moving a few exercise machines for us. I use to do the Couch to 5k on a treadmill in our garage. I got quite far with it and then it overheated when my partner was using it and it broke. This was last year and its still in the garage. So the aim is to get that gone to the tip and replace it with a crosstrainer which we are currently storing at my partners grandparents house. Then, I can start exercising again and it will be something else to add into my morning routine.
Tomorrow I have a friend coming over for the evening and I will probably pop to the shops to grab something to cook for us. I also have to finish what I am making for my dad next week as it is his birthday coming up. I have been working on it for months and it is called diamond by numbers. It is like paint by numbers but with little plastic gems. There are roughly 14,500 gems on the whole thing and its taken a long time but it comes together to make a picture at the end. He knows I'm doing it for him and he's very intrigued but I won't write here what the image is until he gets it just incase he sees this. I have my laptop set up on my very little desk but I think I will have to switch some things around soon as it will be a little craft table for next week again.
Lots going on, lots to look forward to and I feel like a real human being with a life right now. I am so unbelievably proud of myself and I have never felt that way before. Its a sensational feeling. To anyone who is low, depressed, feels like the world is against them - Try your absolute hardest even if it seems impossible because the outcome is worth it.
So this is going to be a bit of a long blog as I've done a fair bit the last 2 days. On Friday, my partner had his appointment with the job centre, took up my fit note and that was all fine and then in the evening, my cousin came over. I wrote about her in another blog saying how happy I was that we were back in contact again and she came over and I made us a cottage pie. I can't tell you how amazing it was to see her again. I hadn't seen her for 2 years. The last time we were together was at a local festival where I'm going to be honest here, I pooed myself in her tent from anxiety (and possible hypothermia). I said I'd be honest about my mental health in these blogs so I'm going to be. Its fair to say even though it is the most incredible place on earth to me, I haven't been back to that festival yet. Although, I am determined. Anyway that didn't happen this time and we had a wonderful catch up and she's having a really rough time right now so I've made sure she knows that I'm there for her every step of the way. She is the only member of my family on my mums side that I still have contact with and she is very important to me. During the day before she got here, I found a ton of family photos and spent literally hours going through them all. I put them into 5 plastic wallets - Ones I'm keeping, Ones for her, Ones for her dad, Ones for my other uncle and Ones that I have no idea who they are and unfortunately they don't mean anything to me. After a catch up, we spent the rest of the evening going through them all and seeing the look on her face was magical. I knew they meant as much to her as they did to me. Before she went, she told me that sometime next week she would pick me up and take me to see my uncle. I haven't seen him since my mum died when I was 9 years old. Its been 14 years. To say I'm excited is an understatement and she took all the photos on except for the ones for him because she said I should be the one to give it to him. I don't think I've ever looked forward to anything more in my life so I can't wait until I hear from her again.
Yesterday I tackled some more of the bedroom. I really am making it my mission at the moment to get it sorted and really go through some stuff. I have found more things to sell and donate to charity shops and cleaned out another area of the bedroom. In the process, I found a book called the Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook. My partner has been telling me for a long time that he thinks it would benefit me to go through it but back then, I had no motivation so I just nodded and forgot about it. But now, self help books are a dream for me. I find that writing, journalling, doing little exercises and activities really helps me and this book is a proper one. So, I thought I'd give it a try. What I thought I would do is complete a couple pages. I did 40 pages over a few hours, doing all of the exercises and really putting me all into the book. It was incredible. I would recommend that book to anyone struggling with their mental health and the book is based around overwhelming emotions and how to deal with them. It is truly fantastic and I cannot wait to complete some more of it today.
Also yesterday, my partner got an email from the person he had the informal interview with a few days ago saying that he had progressed in his application. He was sent a test that he had to complete and send back to them and although he had a week or two to do it, it took him a couple of days. He tried so hard and put a ton of work into it so I'm very proud of him.
And finally, I managed to reach out to a load of cousins on my dads side of the family so that I could get addresses and information I need for the housing application. We did start the application a while back but we weren't aware that we had to finish it within 10 days of starting else we would have to start again. We had a lot going on and didn't do that so we will hopefully be starting over again now that everyone has gotten back to me. We have a pretty broad area of places which is good and I'm feeling positive.
Today, as I said we will hopefully be getting that application done, I will be completing some more of that workbook and my partners mum will be talking to her friend about moving a few exercise machines for us. I use to do the Couch to 5k on a treadmill in our garage. I got quite far with it and then it overheated when my partner was using it and it broke. This was last year and its still in the garage. So the aim is to get that gone to the tip and replace it with a crosstrainer which we are currently storing at my partners grandparents house. Then, I can start exercising again and it will be something else to add into my morning routine.
Tomorrow I have a friend coming over for the evening and I will probably pop to the shops to grab something to cook for us. I also have to finish what I am making for my dad next week as it is his birthday coming up. I have been working on it for months and it is called diamond by numbers. It is like paint by numbers but with little plastic gems. There are roughly 14,500 gems on the whole thing and its taken a long time but it comes together to make a picture at the end. He knows I'm doing it for him and he's very intrigued but I won't write here what the image is until he gets it just incase he sees this. I have my laptop set up on my very little desk but I think I will have to switch some things around soon as it will be a little craft table for next week again.
Lots going on, lots to look forward to and I feel like a real human being with a life right now. I am so unbelievably proud of myself and I have never felt that way before. Its a sensational feeling. To anyone who is low, depressed, feels like the world is against them - Try your absolute hardest even if it seems impossible because the outcome is worth it.
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