Stress
I have decided to blog every 2 days as it will give me more content to write about as there are some days where there is very little I am able to do. If you are reading this and prefer a different setup, please do let me know.
Yesterday I had a peaceful day. It was well needed after the day before it. I am definitely still not 100% from then and I don't think I will be until I get some closure on my health but I will take each day as it comes. Another magazine arrived in the mail yesterday highlighting even more things to do in the area. I took note of many more things and I'm just hoping to get around to doing them. My anxiety and panic is worse than ever right now therefore I don't know how much I will be able to accomplish, but I will certainly give it a damn good try. I also decided to post on Facebook and promote this blog on Pinterest to try to get some more views. I've said this before but I am not doing this for attention or popularity, I'm doing it because it helps me and I would love for it to help others along the way too. It took a long time to work out Pinterest as despite my age, I am not a techy person. But I managed. My last couple blogs have had a lot more views now and some friends of mine reached out to me on Facebook which was great. I am hoping that some strangers maybe do at some point too, that would be amazing. Its hard to make new friends when you have social anxiety so please, if you want to talk, I'd be more than happy to start a conversation.
Last night I had another nightmare. I woke up this morning feeling very disoriented and I was exceptionally quiet for an hour or two. I was hoping that a 30 minute phone call with my Dad before I went to sleep would put me in a better mindset and it did, however, once I was tucked up in bed I couldn't get doctors out of my head. I was thinking constantly about when I went to hospital not long ago and how painful, traumatizing and petrifying it was for me. I'm so scared that it will happen again as the cause of it still hasn't been found out. I'm scared of the future and I'm scared of the unknown. The reason I actually decided to write this now is because my breathing started quickening again. I could feel myself starting to panic so I thought that maybe writing it all out would help me and thankfully it is. Its going to be a very hard few weeks I think but I will keep documenting it here and hopefully my incredible support network will continue to support me and in return, these blogs will inspire and help others to make that leap. I really hope so. Today my partner had his universal credit meeting (we got paid too!), I went out for breakfast with my partner and his family and we did a food shop. It was nice to spend some time with his Mum as we don't often, she's a busy lady. And the plan is now to relax for the rest of the evening. I am very restless lately so this will be a challenge but I shall try my best. I also entered a competition for a security camera yesterday so that's exciting, I love a good competition!
The plan for tomorrow is to go to my partners dads house for dinner. We have some lovely new games/quizes to play and its always a fun evening. I would like to stop at the doctors on route to drop in my urine test but I really am scared. Could you tell?
My second assessment for my course needs to be done for 1 weeks time and I have not started it at all due to so much that has been going on. I've had over a month to do it. If I don't get started on this tomorrow, I'm in trouble. So, wish me luck.
Thank you to everybody who read my last blog as it sure was a difficult one for me to write and maybe for you to read so I appreciate it. Thank you for the time that you take out of your day to read this and I'll be back in a few days. <3
Yesterday I had a peaceful day. It was well needed after the day before it. I am definitely still not 100% from then and I don't think I will be until I get some closure on my health but I will take each day as it comes. Another magazine arrived in the mail yesterday highlighting even more things to do in the area. I took note of many more things and I'm just hoping to get around to doing them. My anxiety and panic is worse than ever right now therefore I don't know how much I will be able to accomplish, but I will certainly give it a damn good try. I also decided to post on Facebook and promote this blog on Pinterest to try to get some more views. I've said this before but I am not doing this for attention or popularity, I'm doing it because it helps me and I would love for it to help others along the way too. It took a long time to work out Pinterest as despite my age, I am not a techy person. But I managed. My last couple blogs have had a lot more views now and some friends of mine reached out to me on Facebook which was great. I am hoping that some strangers maybe do at some point too, that would be amazing. Its hard to make new friends when you have social anxiety so please, if you want to talk, I'd be more than happy to start a conversation.
Last night I had another nightmare. I woke up this morning feeling very disoriented and I was exceptionally quiet for an hour or two. I was hoping that a 30 minute phone call with my Dad before I went to sleep would put me in a better mindset and it did, however, once I was tucked up in bed I couldn't get doctors out of my head. I was thinking constantly about when I went to hospital not long ago and how painful, traumatizing and petrifying it was for me. I'm so scared that it will happen again as the cause of it still hasn't been found out. I'm scared of the future and I'm scared of the unknown. The reason I actually decided to write this now is because my breathing started quickening again. I could feel myself starting to panic so I thought that maybe writing it all out would help me and thankfully it is. Its going to be a very hard few weeks I think but I will keep documenting it here and hopefully my incredible support network will continue to support me and in return, these blogs will inspire and help others to make that leap. I really hope so. Today my partner had his universal credit meeting (we got paid too!), I went out for breakfast with my partner and his family and we did a food shop. It was nice to spend some time with his Mum as we don't often, she's a busy lady. And the plan is now to relax for the rest of the evening. I am very restless lately so this will be a challenge but I shall try my best. I also entered a competition for a security camera yesterday so that's exciting, I love a good competition!
The plan for tomorrow is to go to my partners dads house for dinner. We have some lovely new games/quizes to play and its always a fun evening. I would like to stop at the doctors on route to drop in my urine test but I really am scared. Could you tell?
My second assessment for my course needs to be done for 1 weeks time and I have not started it at all due to so much that has been going on. I've had over a month to do it. If I don't get started on this tomorrow, I'm in trouble. So, wish me luck.
Thank you to everybody who read my last blog as it sure was a difficult one for me to write and maybe for you to read so I appreciate it. Thank you for the time that you take out of your day to read this and I'll be back in a few days. <3
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