I DID IT
A slight tiff occurred between my partner and I last night. I think this is due to the many changes that I am trying to make in order to improve my mental health. Its having a large impact on both of us as there's a lot going on and it may have been a terrible routine, but we used to have one. And now everything is changing. We're not so good with that. There is a lot of pressure on the both of us currently. Me to get better, him to get a job and us to have our own place and start 'living life'. Its all we seem to hear from everyone these days but we know we're trying and that's what matters.
Due to the tiff, I didn't get to sleep until late which resulted in me taking a sleeping tablet as I was worked up and I got up 9-930am today. That's not late for many people but it is for me and I felt rotten. I am way too hard on myself. There are going to be bumps in the road and this wasn't even a bump, but my brain insists it was and that I'm simply not trying my best. Luckily my therapist this afternoon helped change my mind.
She could see my improvement and really congratulated me on how far I have come in such a short time. However, she also warned me of something she calls 'Boom and Bust'. This means that when we feel good about ourselves, we boom about and try to do absolutely everything and then its way too much for us to handle and we bust, we break and we are back to square one. I need to remind myself that to make this work, it needs to be small, baby steps. I don't need to rush myself and I certainly shouldn't be so hard on myself because I'm doing so well.
In one week:
- My sleeping pattern is completely fixed
- I've been eating little and often and much better, healthier food
- Every morning after I get up, I do some housework
- I've been cleaning my teeth twice a day
And that's amazing.
My therapist believes that it would benefit me to write down everything I accomplish in the day by the hour. Then I can look back on the week and see how I've progressed and see on paper what I have accomplished so that starts tomorrow. And we have added something else into the schedule - Walking. Either first thing in the morning so there's no one around, or just out in the back field behind our house. I won't be getting my cross trainer for a while so until then, walk will be my exercise. I don't need to do a specific amount or even walk every day, as long as I do more than usual.
OH.
One thing I haven't mentioned, I walked to the CBT alone. My partner was playing his game and he was about to come off to walk up with me and I said no, I'm going alone. He tried his best but in my opinion, only good could of come out of that situation. He got to relax and play with his friends alone to get a bit of space, and I bloody DID IT. Its all I've been saying all day. I used Self Encouraging Coping Thoughts (My thoughts don't control my life, I do. I can be anxious and still deal with the situation.) And my Safe Place Visualisation which is in my bedroom tucked up in bed. I'll explain more about some of the things I have learnt from the DBT Book tomorrow as this is getting a little long.
I haven't done anything else today except for saying goodbye to my partners nan, aunt and dogs. They came over before heading off home and I'm sure we'll see them again in a few months time. I was going to clear my desk today and start crafting but honestly, I'm exhausted. It can wait until tomorrow. Me and my partner are also going over to see my dad and stepmum tomorrow so I am looking forward to that, it has been a little while. Maybe I'll have a chat with my partner about possible camping again one day before it gets really cold. If you're reading this, please? ;)
And for anyone else reading this, I hope you're having a great week.
Due to the tiff, I didn't get to sleep until late which resulted in me taking a sleeping tablet as I was worked up and I got up 9-930am today. That's not late for many people but it is for me and I felt rotten. I am way too hard on myself. There are going to be bumps in the road and this wasn't even a bump, but my brain insists it was and that I'm simply not trying my best. Luckily my therapist this afternoon helped change my mind.
She could see my improvement and really congratulated me on how far I have come in such a short time. However, she also warned me of something she calls 'Boom and Bust'. This means that when we feel good about ourselves, we boom about and try to do absolutely everything and then its way too much for us to handle and we bust, we break and we are back to square one. I need to remind myself that to make this work, it needs to be small, baby steps. I don't need to rush myself and I certainly shouldn't be so hard on myself because I'm doing so well.
In one week:
- My sleeping pattern is completely fixed
- I've been eating little and often and much better, healthier food
- Every morning after I get up, I do some housework
- I've been cleaning my teeth twice a day
And that's amazing.
My therapist believes that it would benefit me to write down everything I accomplish in the day by the hour. Then I can look back on the week and see how I've progressed and see on paper what I have accomplished so that starts tomorrow. And we have added something else into the schedule - Walking. Either first thing in the morning so there's no one around, or just out in the back field behind our house. I won't be getting my cross trainer for a while so until then, walk will be my exercise. I don't need to do a specific amount or even walk every day, as long as I do more than usual.
OH.
One thing I haven't mentioned, I walked to the CBT alone. My partner was playing his game and he was about to come off to walk up with me and I said no, I'm going alone. He tried his best but in my opinion, only good could of come out of that situation. He got to relax and play with his friends alone to get a bit of space, and I bloody DID IT. Its all I've been saying all day. I used Self Encouraging Coping Thoughts (My thoughts don't control my life, I do. I can be anxious and still deal with the situation.) And my Safe Place Visualisation which is in my bedroom tucked up in bed. I'll explain more about some of the things I have learnt from the DBT Book tomorrow as this is getting a little long.
I haven't done anything else today except for saying goodbye to my partners nan, aunt and dogs. They came over before heading off home and I'm sure we'll see them again in a few months time. I was going to clear my desk today and start crafting but honestly, I'm exhausted. It can wait until tomorrow. Me and my partner are also going over to see my dad and stepmum tomorrow so I am looking forward to that, it has been a little while. Maybe I'll have a chat with my partner about possible camping again one day before it gets really cold. If you're reading this, please? ;)
And for anyone else reading this, I hope you're having a great week.
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