Apologies

So I haven't written for a few days so apologies to anyone who reads these as I normally do every day. I've been having a bit of a shitty time. My depression is pretty bad at the moment, I'm very low. I saw on Pinterest last year about a memory box that someone made. They wrote a positive memory every week for the entire year, put them all in a jar and read through what a great year they had on New Years Eve. I did a similar thing. But I was so low a few days ago that I just chucked it in the bin. My partner had to fish it out for me the next day.

Yesterday was fairly productive which has made me feel a little better but not much. My partner had his appointment at the job centre. He also had a phonecall with a recruiter about a job that he already has a call scheduled for with them next week but that's ok, we're making progress. He also returned a package, collected my Sertraline and we sent off my ESA letter. I may not have done any of that but it makes me feel better that its done.

We also went to his Dads house for dinner and had an incredible roast. I've been eating terribly this past week because I think I'm finally (after a month) feeling some side effects from the Sertraline. There are some days I'm incredibly low and some that I just feel nothing. I have zero sex drive which I also think is from the medication and I just want to feel something so I eat. It cheers me up. I know its bad for me long term but in that moment, I don't care. Anyway, the roast with a ton of vegetables was what was needed and my partners dad really does the best ones. He also bought a Wii so we played Wii Sports Resort & Mario Kart & I took over a quiz book about the area that we live in and we did that too. It was a good night.

I probably won't write anymore today as I don't have any plans other than trying to sort out my sleeping pattern. My Doctors Appointment is at 9am on Monday and we've been going to bed at 6. I only have the weekend to try and fix that but I'll try. I'm hoping over the next couple of days that me and my partner will finish the Housing Application and get our bedroom tidy but I'm not holding out much hope. I've also been developing a cold for over a week and its finally here so its been a tough few days. But I don't expect much else these days. I'll write tomorrow.

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