The Greatest Showman | Nightmares

On Saturday I saw The Greatest Showman at an outdoor cinema with my partner and his dad. I was expecting it to be in a fielded area but it was a Mercedes car park. It was amazing though. All the money raised went to a guide dog charity and I think my partner was more interested in looking at all the dogs that were about rather than the film. They were adorable though, I don't blame him. My partners dad thought I came over prepared but I disagree, it was so nice to be wrapped up nice and warm with a potato and leek cup a soup in my flask. I wore two t-shirts, a coat, Russian hat, penguin gloves which are meant for children but still fit my tiny hands and covered myself with a big jumper and even brought a hot water bottle. We had other snacks to eat while we watched and it was so nice to watch a film and actually be out in the fresh air, feeling the breeze on your face. There were a few funny moments too - A few minutes into the film the projector turned off because someone turned all of the lights off in the Mercedes building. We then had to start from the beginning again. And after that, a car alarm started going off. Overall it was a lovely experience and I would definitely do it again. I won't complain about the Mcdonalds we got after either.

Yesterday and today have been a little different. As you know if you do read these blogs, I often get nightmares. I get these most often when I am going through a particularly stressful period. And with a potential PTSD diagnosis, its fair to say its been stressful. I had one last night and another the night before and they can leave me feeling 'off' for the entire day. If I'm lucky, I'll just be dodgy for an hour or two but that's rare. My general mental health and wellbeing is really suffering at the moment and its very hard for me to do anything about it. I will in time because I always do but currently its just not happening. My coursework is very late now and I still haven't finished. I really will be in trouble if I don't send it off in the next few days but every time I think about doing it my heart starts beating quicker. I am also due to go to the hospital in 2 days time with my cousin for an appointment but again, I have a phobia and there are some things I really want to talk through with  her before we go. I have had no replies to my messages however so, I'm not sure that will happen. Its just all very hard. Its also frustrating when you know that really the things I have to do are pretty simple and would take less than 30 minutes yet I still can't. As always though I will hang in there and keep trying. I'll get there one day.

I hope everyone has had a great Monday and have a fantastic week.

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