Phobias
Yesterday evening was really lovely. Another member of the family made their own quiz and we did mine aswell. We had a roast dinner which always makes me happy and just had a good chat. It really is the highlight of my week going to my partners dads for dinner. I enjoy it very much. Yesterday evening Zoe Sugg put out a Youtube video of a live smear test and did a Q&A with the nurse. I learnt a lot from it and I feel a little (very little) bit more able to head to the doctors now. I thought that if that made me feel more comfortable about smears, maybe if I watched a video of a blood test, that could help too. It was terrifying but I managed and I really think it did help. I really never have had a problem with needles until the local anesthetic. Its extremely frustrating but I am doing everything in my power to get control of my thoughts and help myself in any way I can. My anxiety and phobias don't control my life, I do.
Tomorrow is the dreaded doctors appointment. I've been going to bed later and later again and I even had a sleeping tablet last night and for the first time, it didn't work. The appointment is 930am and I am getting a lift up there because even though it is in walking distance, the anxiety of the walk up through town just adds to the anxiety already there due to where I am going so being in the car makes a huge difference. I can't wait until I can drive. The appointment is to review my Sertraline again. It has been doubled since the last time I saw her so she wants to make sure its working and that no side effects are present. I also need to get another sick note due to the health advisory service not getting in touch yet with an appointment date and I need to discuss with her about testing for diabetes. And my cough which definitely does not want to leave me anytime soon. There's a lot to talk about and I just want to get in and get out so hopefully I do manage to cover it all. I will also be jumping on a train and heading to the city tomorrow with my partner to do a little bit of shopping. I have lots of things planned for the coming weeks and need to prepare for them so I will do a little bit of food shopping, birthday shopping & I'd love to go to Primark and buy myself some new clothes and a bag and purse. I think my partner is a little fed up of carrying my things around everywhere. At aged 23 I should probably have my own bag, right? We will then be coming home and doing a BBQ in the garden with his mum. Lots to do. Hopefully if I keep my head on the good stuff happening tomorrow, I won't think so much about the morning.
I have had a very busy day again today trying to distract myself. It started off with a dog walk to my favourite area in my town. We don't go there often but I love it there, its beautiful and the dogs had a wail of a time. We then popped into my partners grandparents on the way home. I had some mango sorbet and was given some hand picked blackberries to make into a smoothie. I look forward to that tomorrow. And since being home - coursework, housework, a shower and watching Shameless. I'm so happy the next series is out as I adore it. Next time I blog I plan to write a little about 2 shows I have just finished watching - Bodyguard and 13 Reasons Why. I think they are fantastic as they address real life issues and really shed some light on things happening right now.
I wish everyone a good week next week. :)
Tomorrow is the dreaded doctors appointment. I've been going to bed later and later again and I even had a sleeping tablet last night and for the first time, it didn't work. The appointment is 930am and I am getting a lift up there because even though it is in walking distance, the anxiety of the walk up through town just adds to the anxiety already there due to where I am going so being in the car makes a huge difference. I can't wait until I can drive. The appointment is to review my Sertraline again. It has been doubled since the last time I saw her so she wants to make sure its working and that no side effects are present. I also need to get another sick note due to the health advisory service not getting in touch yet with an appointment date and I need to discuss with her about testing for diabetes. And my cough which definitely does not want to leave me anytime soon. There's a lot to talk about and I just want to get in and get out so hopefully I do manage to cover it all. I will also be jumping on a train and heading to the city tomorrow with my partner to do a little bit of shopping. I have lots of things planned for the coming weeks and need to prepare for them so I will do a little bit of food shopping, birthday shopping & I'd love to go to Primark and buy myself some new clothes and a bag and purse. I think my partner is a little fed up of carrying my things around everywhere. At aged 23 I should probably have my own bag, right? We will then be coming home and doing a BBQ in the garden with his mum. Lots to do. Hopefully if I keep my head on the good stuff happening tomorrow, I won't think so much about the morning.
I have had a very busy day again today trying to distract myself. It started off with a dog walk to my favourite area in my town. We don't go there often but I love it there, its beautiful and the dogs had a wail of a time. We then popped into my partners grandparents on the way home. I had some mango sorbet and was given some hand picked blackberries to make into a smoothie. I look forward to that tomorrow. And since being home - coursework, housework, a shower and watching Shameless. I'm so happy the next series is out as I adore it. Next time I blog I plan to write a little about 2 shows I have just finished watching - Bodyguard and 13 Reasons Why. I think they are fantastic as they address real life issues and really shed some light on things happening right now.
I wish everyone a good week next week. :)
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