Mental Breakdown

So I had a complete mental breakdown Wednesday night. Great way to start this blog, right? I think I was incredibly overwhelmed from the possible PTSD Diagnosis and it scared the crap out of me. I'm not even sure what time it was, maybe 4-5am. I was still awake because I was stressing (yeah, going to sleep at 10 definitely did not happen) and I just broke down. I was angry, upset and my emotions were just flying. This is certainly going to be a challenging thing to process and try to get through but I've had a good few days since.

Yesterday my partner had a job interview which went really well. We're all feeling positive. And then a friend came over to play board games and have some drinks. I haven't seen him for a few months as he lives very far away and its incredibly expensive to travel here. But it just makes it more special when he does make it. We both said the same thing last night, it was so good to laugh until we literally cried. We had such a funny time, got quite drunk and it was just brilliant. Then my partner joined us for breakfast out at a great place with delicious food this morning before my friend headed off back home. It will probably be a few months before I see him again but the few friends I have are often traveling or live far away and that's just life, so its ok. My partner then went for an appointment at the job centre and decided to ask about the health advisory service. I sent my questionnaire to them months ago now and I have still heard nothing back so our work coach is going to chase that up. And lastly for today, I passed my first assessment! Hooray! Hopefully I will finish the second by this weekend and it will be all done but I'm glad I have no more to do for the first half. Its a miracle I passed it to be honest with everything going on but I'm very chuffed.

Tomorrow the plan is to go to an open air cinema with my partner and his dad to see The Greatest Showman. I have seen this film before but never been to a cinema outside so I'm super excited and hopefully the weather will hold up. I have no plans at all other than that for the next few days so its going to be all about relaxing, coursework and trying not to have a breakdown. Although I did have something to write in my intrusive thoughts diary so that's positive, right? Something came out of it? I'm really trying.

I hope everyone has a great weekend whatever you're doing.

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